| List of Shit I have to do in december |
[10 Dec 2009|03:25pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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1)Internet marketing written assignment? I forgot when it's due.
2)Infosect written assignment.
3)Java quiz next monday that I haven't studied. I knew it, all teachers are sadists.
4)My potty portfolio that is screaming at me and shredding the insides of my mind to tatters.
5)List my coat for sale.
6)Other coding projects/java projects. Yes, that is an 's' you see, as in projects, not project.
I kind of regret wanting to work, now what? I've a dental appointment, doctor's appointment too. I am so dead since I have clearly bitten off more than I can chew. Great. Just awesome. Someone hand me a duplicating machine or trap me in Mousehunt already.
I haven't been sleeping well recently, it is only a matter of time before my end approaches if I keep up this kind of lifestyle, haha. Ha. -.-"
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[27 Nov 2009|11:20pm] |
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music |
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This is how we live ~ The Summer Set |
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Went to eat at Ishimura Japanese Food Street today with my mum, siblings and May. The teriyaki chicken and salmon pizzas, beef patty okonomiyaki omelette were damn nice, the ramen was so-so but my sis liked it. Had green tea ice cream which rocked just as great. Hah. This makes me want to go Japan for the food there. *drools*
I'm so tired and my butt hurts from all the sitting down today. -.-" So are my poor old shoulders, I don't know what I did to make them that way. I've a looooong list of crap I've got to finish by the end of this december.
Things I Have To Do By The End Of December:
1)PORTFOLIO!!!!!
2)Research what I want to do as my career/uni course.
3)Prepare bag pack trip plans and try to drag people to go with me.
4)Earn $$$ during the holidays (that is if projects aren't killing me first).
5)Eat less and save $$$ on food and go get my butt off the chair/sofa/bed and go exercise.
6)Start and publish my stories online, or least write a short story for my brother's birthday/xmas present.
7)Cut down on my biting of fingernails and my lazy bum habits/procrastination/how I always never get organized and even if I do it always backfires.
Yes, these are what I must do. If I don't manage to do this I will fail myself as SH and not deserve to be called by that name. It's a simple thing really.
But for me it's always quite a tough thing to do. I don't get how i can enjoy making lists so much and hate doing the things on it. -.-" So retarded, ahah. I keep thinking I've got a lot of thinking to do...Recently all I want to do is lie in my bed on a rainy day/night and just stare up at my ceiling on my double-decker bed and think. Rainy days are awesome for sleeping in. Too bad for the dreaded thing called school as we all know and 'love'.
I have a feeling I will miss it when i do graduate though...It's kind of sad yet exciting at the same time. I wish we never have to grow up.
Or I can just go be a farmer in New Zealand and live a good old carefree life without worrying about what's next in my career/life/crap. I envy my parents childhood lives so much, they keep saying we have it best cuz' of all the technology and good food and yak about how they didn't even have TV or handphones in the past and the times they had chicken for dinner was once a year. I'd much rather live on home-grown plants and live in the countryside then go work myself to death and study to death then die when I grow old.
I sound like some old lady mumbling about her incomplete life and complaining about how her back aches. -.-"
I'm bored. I feel like doing something crazy but I feel like I can't be bothered. Hahaha. I've got a crappy test next week, five chapters of junk.
Also another project nagging at my heels and my portfolio screaming at me from inside my sketchbook. I am worse than dead if this continues.
This has become yet another one of my long rambling posts. Oh well...There may be another one on christmas or before it yet.
Merry Christmas to all the bored people who have bothered to read this.
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[30 Oct 2009|08:26pm] |
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Confusion confusion confusion. It's this huge ugly knot in your mind and in the pit of your stomach and no matter how much you try to wrench it apart it just gets tighter. And if that's not bad enough it starts doing that weird jerky dance on its own and makes you near mental. Wait, no-that's frustration. Or should I say a whole new level of confusion. Confusion in a horrific halloween costume.
Argh. I am so confused/frustrated/whatnot. I can't decide between this and that. Or maybe I'm just indecisive to the point of no return?
So far...I'm going to be graduating soon next year and I still have no confirmed idea of what I'm going to do.
Here's a nice list of interests:
Undergraduate Bachelor Degree courses I'm interested in:
creative industries/arts
communications
graphic design
visual communications
product design
english literature
creative writing
writing
digital media design??
journalism??
interactive media
marketing,advertising,public relations
media studies???
Nice. Real nice. In fact, you might say I am on the right track and a few more eliminations to go...Voila~I get my dream course.
Bah. That is such bull. I am more confused over what I want. Sure, I'm torn between design and writing and maybe even advertising, but seriously. If I get into design now I'm not even sure if as a job I'd really enjoy it or if I'm just looking at it as a hobby. Writing is fine but what kind of writing? As for business...shall I say I have this shitty feeling I'm forcing myself down the IT/biz line just because I can get a 'decent' job easier?
Ok, reality counts in this case, but even so...I don't want to do a job just for the sake of it or do a job while feeling like I want to turn in a resignation letter asap. That stinks.
This is really, really irritating me to no end. Why must we even have jobs? Why can't I be a farmer or something? Why must we work our butts off for electricity and macdonalds or broadband or the latest iPhone blablabla... Why can't we be like those happy, rural farmers in new Zealand or Thailand or whatever??? ... ... Why can't I be born a boy instead so I'll have to go to NS and not be hard-pushed to make a decision that can affect my life/future career?
I want to tear my hair and heart out and feed it to the dogs.
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[13 Jul 2009|02:34pm] |
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10 facts about me now:
1) I am tired. I slept at 3am last night. After watching Harper's Island ep13 last night til 12am, I had no sleep at all since the rather predictable but strangely still disturbingly traumatizing ending.
2) I am Bored with a capital B.
3) I have a craving for coffee. And chocolate.
4) I feel kinda funny. Wierdly high but also sorta apathetic?
5) I am stuck in my school lab with nothing to do. For now.
6) I want to go home.
7) I want to sleep.
8) I want to go home and sleep my butt off right now.
9) Anyone who dares disturb my sleepfest later on shall suffer my wrath. Hell hath no wrath like a sleeper scorned.
10) I have no idea why I'm kneeling on the floor typing this while my chair is at the other side of the room. -.-"
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| About Realizations and Cheese... |
[26 Jun 2009|09:15am] |
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 indifferent |
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I went to AMK Hub yesterday to catch a movie with Eliz. My Blood the Last Vampire movie was sadly not listed there at Cathay so we decided to watch Threads of Destiny. Threads of Disappointment more like. -.-" It was no doubt one of the lamest movies I have ever seen in my life.
After smuggling a big pack of fudge oatmeal cookies into the theatre, I didn't know I'd lose my appetite to cheesecake. There was a load of cheesecake during the movie. Yeah, that's what I said- the movie was so cheesy it practically stank of cheese.
Man. While the plot was rather much like the Singaporean movie Leap of Faith-regarding birthdays on 29th February and star crossed lovers, it is full of cliches.
****************************************Warning******************************************
Spoilers and flames up ahead
*******************************************************************************************
Cliche#1:
The 'childhood crush turned love" issue. How much does this happen in reality? Answer:Next to zero. Kids nowadays only care about their gameboys/psps/grades/favourite tv shows/computer games. Oyea, and the new Transformers movie2.
Cliche#2:
Not even 15mins+ into the show, the main lead(Atsushi) confesses to the female lead(Mei). The stuff he says is full of cheese as well.
Cliche#3:
The glasses-girl/quiet bishoujo(pretty girl) thing appears too much in manga and anime.Said girl's name is Sara and she likes the other guy (Taka) who is in love with Mei. And by the way? She committed suicide when she found out Mei lied to her about being alone shopping when she was with Taka. -.-" No, she didn't die but she did lose her memory. And...don't people who jump off a 20-something-level looking building die? She must been a cat in her past life to have 9 lives like that.
Cliche#4:
When the above mentioned girl decides to take her own life-wouldn't you be shouting and wailing for her not to instead of staring open mouthed as she she talks about the very cliched misunderstanding? Correction, the female lead Mei just stands there like a statue as her friend flies off the building. Maybe she's too stunned or doesn't think her friend would do it, but attempted suicide(and succeeded suicide) should have gauged a bigger reaction.
Cliche#5:
The secondary male lead Taka turns out to be an abusive/possessive jerk after Atsushi (male lead) is gone away because apparently Mei's mum came and told him "Why You Cannot Be With The Girl". But that's not the problem, the glitch is, just when taka turns over a new leaf? He gets hit by a car and dies on the spot.
Cliche#6:
The two leads didn't get together at the end-why? Because the girl's mum told her she can't go out with the guy because his mother caused the death of her REAL birth mother. Yup, she was adopted and nope, they aren't siblings or related. He just happened to be the son of a woman who was addicted to drugs and was best friends with her own real birth mother and caused her mum's death.
Please. That was all in the past. The male lead has no backbone whatsoever and the female lead is constantly put through trauma just so the viewers can sympathize with her. -_-"
Ah well, a waste of my 1hr 40 mins and $6. I could have spent them on a REAL slice of delicious cheesecake at Gloria Jeans,haha.
That's all about the movie, as for today, I managed to get my Caffe Latte at GJ's before lessons started in school this morning. And Michael Jackson died. :(
H1N1 is taking over the world alongside Google, Apple and Microsoft, but I'm still not panicking over it, but I do feel bad for Mexico because there it really is the worst. Outside of Mexico? Tons of people getting colds/H1N1 but most are healing rather fast. My school being completely retarded and letting all the students except us attachment year3 students have a 1week "holiday" due to H1N1. And they came up with this moronic rule that students from one side of the school can't travel to the other side for fear of spreading the virus. -.-"
Also, if we are suspected to have H1N1, we are to be isolated in a small warehouse-room-thing until the ambulance comes to take us to TTSH. =.=" Makes me feel like there's this strain of zombie flu that turns students into mindless flesh eating monsters.
There are 95 new H1N1 cases, if they really want to lower that-why not close ALL schools instead of just a select few? That kinda defeats the entire purpose, don't you think?
So, for now, I'll be stuck outside the house while the warehouse isolation room is directly outside the building I'm in. What cleverness, I applaud the smarties for being to ingenious.
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| Facebooking... |
[20 Jun 2009|12:32am] |
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Ok, here comes the question: How would you feel if you realized that some of your friends know each other? As in you travel in the different social circles and then-hey presto!- you look at them and go "What?! I didn't know you know him/her!"
Wierd much? Ha. The strange thing is it makes me feel kind of wierded out.
Out of phase. In shock. And completely flabbergasted. Also a little sad???
The thing is it makes me realize how much (or how little) of a social life I have, :D <<--(Note my sarcastic smile, *grins*)
This is stupid. I'm being stupid I know. =.=""" But seriously, when you take a step back from your life and see it from a Bird's Eye View kind of perspective- it shifts things into focus a bit. You realize things you never will on any other day. Heh.
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| Damn Bored... |
[09 Jun 2009|02:57pm] |
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bored |
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I've got an achy right arm and a bored mind. That's right, bored bored bored. Say it with me: Bored bored bored. Ok, so I'm not exactly having nothing to do but the sloooooooooow snail like speed of the internet here is really sickening. Hmmm, I just realized I do sort of only use three or less fingers to type. Blah.
Lin went to watch Dance Subaru with Eliz yesterday, was a nice but sad movie. Lin says she likes it a ton and thinks Subaru-chan is seriously cool to watch. Lin has not finished her purple yam 'bao/pao' yet and is trying to 'reheat' it with the heat pouring out from the left side of her laptop. And no, Lin confirms that her laptop is NOT going to explode. The heat is a normal process for blowing the hot air out so the laptop won't overheat and die. Although Lin's laptop has almost died on her a few times and scared the crap out of her.
Ughhh. I won't bother to refer to myself in 3rd person anymore-it's not so fun once you get bored of it.
I kinda miss my terrapins at home-Shaggy and Marshy, :C
Seeing Leen's Ah Gui makes me sad and my eyes turn green with jealousy. Hahaha. Kidding. I will attempt to make good with Shaggy and not get my fingers scratched off. Marshy is a poor timid character than Shaggy's curious but bold ways. I'm still trying to figure out which is male and which is female but oh well-I suppose Shaggy is the male since on google it says male terrapins have fatter tails and higher shells and have longer front claws all the better to tear out your eyeballs with. -_-"
Crap. Now my shoulder is hurting. It feels good typing away with my three fingers though. Ha, I sound like E.T. =___="
I miss playing the piano but I've got no time to play and at night it's impossible because my siblings want to watch TV and my dear sweet brother won't put up with ANY form of noise other than the TV in front of him glued to his face.
Brrrrrr...It's cold in here and my fingers are getting numb. My bao/pao is warming up. Good.
Recently I have finished my attachment and it went well except for the grading-in which I'm one grade away from an A but my supervisor didn't give me that. -___-
That was a few weeks ago and anyway, now I've just finished one flash project and am starting on another soon. Let me tell you one thing: I'm starting to feel a whole new level of empathy and respect towards those animation/3D movie brainiacs/tycoons...
It's a new ball game to me which I'm trying to control. They have done it again and gave us 4days to learn flash before throwing us into the deep end of the sea to deliver a self intro project. Fortunately that went ok.
At the moment it's another new flash project. Just ... ... flashy.
Don't get me wrong-flash is fun and all. However, when given a short timeframe to master it that pretty much sucks the fun out of anything. Unless you're one of those smarties who enjoy munching on tea with java books and a java chip drink from Starbucks.
Maaaan, it's 2:40pm now.
Rooooooaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr.
Which reminds me...I went with my siblings to the Science Centre last saturday to see the masterpieces and wonders of Da Vinci- the Genius. Not the Da Vinci Code(that's my most hated book ever to walk the earth), but THE Leonardo Da Vinci-Artist extraodinaire and famous scientist/inventor/insertsomethingawesomehere.
Italian names are so cool-they sound like part of the mafia,ahahaha. Ahem.
As I was saying, the Da Vinci exhibition was Wickedly Cool in a scientific/philosopher/quiet way...Well, it's a bit boring if you're not the reading type and prefer more rowdy fun and games. It's cool in a way that it has a quiet, captivating aura and does invoke thoughts in your underused brains. (Nope, I'm not being sarcastic here.)
All in all, Leonardo Da Vinci is your Man. I learnt some stuff I never knew about the guy who painted Mona Lisa.
Did you know that the Mona Lisa is unfinished in the eyes of Da Vinci?
Or that he was arch rivals with Michelangelo? (is that the correct spelling of his name? Micheangelo..Michelangelo...-.-" forget it, I'm too lazy to google and the internet is too slow)
Or that the Mona Lisa you see in the Louvre Museum in Paris is not in its True magnificent colours? The colours have faded and worn out from Mona Lisa to "Moana Lisa".
So, yea, it was an educating trip alright. There was something wierd with one of Da Vinci's quotes I can't get out of my mind: 'Art is never finished, it is always abandoned'. I don't know-Da Vinci was a perfectionist but still...is this true? Hahaha.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I've talked about everything from MOVIES to TORTOISES to SOFTWARE to ANCIENT HISTORY and ART EXHIBITIONS.
It's 2:55pm now. I'm going mad.
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| My brain has just been numbed with terror. |
[24 Apr 2009|12:22am] |
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Oh.My.Gosh.
I just watched finished ep22 of Code Geass on okto channel just now.
Snap, that was like watching a Shakespearean tragic massacre of sorts. x.O
It was so...Unexpected and so darn sad I wanted to cry/scream/whatever...I may be afraid to watch the next ep. T__T
The weird thing is-I actually hated, really really hated Code Geass at first. No more than 15mins into the show and all I had seen was some male perfect Mary-Sue defeating someone in chess as easy as a fat kid cramming pie in his mouth. That, and the way they portrayed the britannians and japanese so stereotypically-at least that was what I thought at first.
WAAAAAAAAAh. I should have watched the entire episode1 before jumping to conclusions!!!!!!!!
And I only picked up watching only at around halfway through Season1 too... Because I had to HAVE something to watch while I waited for Toradora at 11:30pm. =.="
Awwwwwww crap, I feel so creeped out. Plus, I already know that Lelouch is gonna die in the last ep of R2, which is the worst spoiler ever.
I'm curious to see if I would shed as many tears watching from ep1 all the way to ep22 like I did for Nabari no Ou.
And I'm a real procrastinate for not finishing Nabari too.
I think I'm going to be haunted by the last few scenes for quite a while...I can't bring myself to go watch it online because he images are imprinted in my mind like rotten gum.
Of course, if they didn't make that happen the whole series couldn't have gone on... But a bloodbath? With Euphy of all people!
And just when I was starting to really like her. :C That's just sad. Worse than sad is when Lelouch cried at the end. That made me scream, literally.
Uwaaaaah....... Talk about angst, angst and more angst. I think I'm turning into a hardcore Code Geass fan soon.
The only things I have to do are to FINISH watching Darker Than Black & Nabari no Ou as well.
Double bummer of the week? I read Tantalize yesterday and it was another sad, tragic/bittersweet ending.
=____=" The difference is that Code Geass ep22 didn't have any bittersweet feeling to it at all.
All in all, it was just pure tragicness. Like Macbeth/Hamlet, where William killed off almost all his characters.
I can see why Lelouch will have to die in R2. :'''C
Man.
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| Melancholy |
[01 Mar 2009|09:21pm] |
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Tomorrow is my IPP. I’m feeling nervous and excited and sad at the same time. Nervous about it because I have to do something I don’t know much about and also I’m the only one going there for this week.Excited cuz I can’t stand the suspense of it. I want it over and done with, >_< Sad cuz I feel so OLD. Haha, that’s weird. I feel lke I’m distancing slowly from the outside world and from people and I feel confused about my future and I hate thinking so much. All because of what reason I’m not exactly sure of anyhow. Just thinking that I need to go work after I graduate-the real thing, makes me wonder what will happen to myself and others… How I went from happy-go-lucky to melancholy is =___=”. Plus, that bad dream on friday night is still getting under my skin. I think I know how my parents feel now, =.= I hate growing old. But I hate growing up more.
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[05 Feb 2009|02:27am] |
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By the way, due to a dramatic increase in recent stress factors, my biting of fingers have increased too.
There goes my New Year Resolutions, all gone down the drain with the sewer rats.
(I'm suddenly reminded of MouseHunt on facebook)
My brain hurts. This is what happens when I finally lose it. My brain cells malfunction and go haywire.
Like now. Why in blazes am I typing this crap here when I should be sleeping?!
Nites, I'm off to bed.
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| The voices in my head |
[05 Feb 2009|02:16am] |
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 devious |
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The Voice of Reason, aka the Conscience.
The Sadistic Bastard Voice I Hate The Most. But yes its there, and don't deny you don't have one either.
The Gone Stark Raving Mad-is she/he/it on drugs Voice of Insanity.
The Voice that Comes Out After I Shut Out All the other Voices in my head.
The Voice that's not a voice at all, but sends all sorts of images/thoughts racing through my mind.
You've got the best, you've got the worst,you've got them whether you like it or not, deal with it.
Wonder which one's mine.=__=" It's like entering a room full of mirrors-fat,skinny,screwy,dark,bright...etc...You just lose yourself in there. Yesh, in case you still haven't figured out, I'm bored and thinking up nonsense to tickle your head into thinking:
"What is wrong with this?"
"what the *********?"
"HUH?!"
"Umm...She's nuts?"
"Stress, I think it's all getting to us."
"Wierdo."
"Crazy lunatic"
"Idiot."
"Moron."
"LOL...Hahahahahahaa.............I don't get it."
Go ahead,pick one, which was your reaction?"
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| Ramblings: A constitution of sentences constructed with the phrases "Sometimes I..." |
[05 Feb 2009|01:55am] |
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Sometimes I feel like I take things for granted too much.
Sometimes I feel like I have multiple personalities.
Sometimes I feel like I have voices in my head.
Sometimes I feel like I'm going mad.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just wierd.
Sometimes I feel like I'm not me.
Sometimes I feel like I don't know myself anymore.
Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my talents. My brain cells. My time. My life. =_="
Sometimes I don't like what I do/think.
Sometimes I don't think before I act.
Sometimes I think too much before I act.
Sometimes I feel like... ...__________.
Huh. This is wierd. I guess this is me?Hahaha.
Sometimes I feel like I'm always in a dream.
Sometimes I dream I'm always running/searching.
Sometimes I wonder what will happen when I do persevere in the stuff I myself want to do.
Cause I'm sick of seeing myself do everything of mine halfway when I can finish something if it not only affects me.
And I'm sick of seeing others accomplish things they like and I can't bring myself to even finish something of mine.
It's kind of like the time my dad demanded me to throw out all my precious personal stuff.
I was so angry I actually went and did it just to show that I didn't care and I could.
That was dumb, -___-" Really stupid.
Wow, this has got to be the wierdest post/ most melancholic one yet.
Nice.
Sometimes I feel my moodswings change at the speed of light.
Sometimes I feel I'm hiding something.
Eh.
Sometimes I feel I don't give thanks enough and don't treasure what I have.
More like I don't hold onto it. The wierd thing is, the more problems I get, the more I run towards it, when I don't have any, I get too complacent. Shouldn't it be both ways?
Sometimes I don't understand what it is I'm doing/thinking.
Sometimes I forget. All the time. It's easy to.
Sometimes I like messing with your head. :D
Hahaha, happy reading, go spread the wierdness too.
Sometimes I mess with my own head. This is fun by the way. You should try it too.
Sometimes I suspect I just sleep my head off in dreamland to escape.
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[18 Jan 2009|12:08am] |
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Oyeah!!!!! I forgot about this. How could I forget?! I had the WIERDEST DREAM last night.
Ok, actually I can;t really recall most of it, but it did have one particular part I will never forget. I dreamt that I was in this old wooden house/ treehouse/bungalow/whatever that was...and there were these tv shows on the big screens there mounted up on the wall.
Don't ask me why such undeveloped houses have such high technology gadgets,I do not know, it was a dream.
Back to the house...I was walking in there,no, I was running around in there looking for people or something of the sort. When I saw this advertisement on TV with with these huge neon, blinking signs all over it.
Guess what shocked the life out of me. There was the message: " Ah Gong's Blog" flashing in bright neon lights from the screen.
Oh my crap.
I am not making this up. No,it was not referring to my lj,but rather to my blog????!!!!!!
I do remember running to some people in my class/cca and pulling at their arms yelling "You must see this! Why is my blog being advertised on the tv?!"
They all ignored me. Sheesh. Hahaaaha.
Well, other than that wierd episode like it was out of the twilight zone, I also recall being chased by dinosaurs before that part of the dream. I bet this is from the dinosaur books my dear brother made me read last night.
So all in all, I've dreamt of huge sharp-teethed lizards chasing me and my blog being advertised like the next McDonalds happy meal on TV.
I've had wierder,scarier dreams in fact. Some are way too scary to be typed here. Ok fine I admit, I'm just too lazy and tired to type them all here.
There are some fast facts on my dreams:
1)They are sometimes interlinked together. For example, in this dream I had, I was in this huge shopping mall which was distorted beyond recognition of the real thing and a few weeks/days/months later,I would dream of going back to the same place,albeit for a different reason.
2)I am almost always, I repeat, almost ALWAYS being chased or running to find something in my dreams. You would never believe the amount of exercise I do in there.
3)Some of the dreams are so real I actually wake up to find myself crying. This was really stupid because once I had this dream about this eurasion little boy who was my brother/cousin and he was going to be operated on. He died in the dream and I was crying like mad. The freaky thing is, when I woke up I realized my pillow was wet too. And that was not from drool or anything for my cheeks were wet as well.
Creepy, eh?
Now for the scary part. Close your eyes and run away, kiddies, this is not the stuff for dreams made out of rainbows and lollipops and easter bunnies.
I kept having a series of these dreams about this woman who looked as though she walked off the set of The Ring. The creepy thing was, in those dreams,I just had this feeling it was the same woman.
Brrrrrrr...
Ok, OKOKOKOKOK.
Enough of this. I'm getting goosebumps. O__O
Ok, to lighten the mood, I'll just go off to sleep and...
Happy nighmares. *grins evilly*
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| Today... |
[17 Jan 2009|11:57pm] |
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I feel dizzy,sick,tired... and also guilty for quarreling with my sister and dad. My stupid temper keeps flying off the hook at home when he jibes at me and thinks its fun when its not and whenever someone gets mad cause of something stupid and that makes me angry too.
Sigh. My vision is failing me and I can feel my energy sucked away as I type this-darn, I sound like a lame old shakespearean wannabe.
=___="
*ahem* Where the problem lies, its my tiredness. My 'no-energy-ness'.
Anyway, a little something for your amusement/terror/puking...if you happen to be my fellow classmates:
This is a lovely avatar isn't it?
Haha. Cuz' we all know what will happen on monday. Jiayou and all the best people...
ps. Anyone wanna go take a Q-number at IMH with me before monday?
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| I've lost my muse... |
[15 Jan 2009|09:32pm] |
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mood |
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cynical |
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Have you ever felt an indescribably strong urge to sit down at your desk and write or draw or just do something to get it out of your system???
I've lost that feeling.
My muse has gone on a temporary vacation and who knows how long it will take for it to return.
Another shocking fact I've learned the hard way: No more coffee and late night studying/crapping anymore.
Ow. My shoulder's stiff as a board. So is my back.
I've spent the day resting and TRYING to figure out how to do my stupid product catalogue.
Oh yes. That is what I said. I spent over 5 hours figuring out how to present my data in a stupid Datalist/Gridview/whatevercrapthereis.
Darn it!!!!!!! My handphone just died on me!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!
=____=!@#$%^&*()
The Stupidness of it!!!!
(I know stupidness is not a word. But I like the sound of it.)
Forget it. My handphone is as dead as my ITIPJ anyway.
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| The Week Of Doom and Damnation. |
[11 Jan 2009|11:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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devious |
] |
I. Have. Had. It.
This. Is. Completely. Driving. Me. Nuts.
Oh. My. Crap.
Breathe, Lin...That's it. Just breathe...Not TOO much!!!
Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaathhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeee.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
I have 2 quizzes and one 30% ICA and one mini assignment ALL DUE NEXT WEEK.
And its also due on both Tues and Wed consecutively. I am so dead.
Just run my dead body over with a lawn mower please, to make sure I really am deader than dead.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Boohoo. Boohoohoo.
I want to cry and laugh at the same time. :'S
TT________________TT
Sad week ahead. Sad week starting.
I want to drown in my own emo tears and then wail and scream til the lecturers and tutors all come running to my house(aka. the source of the noise pollution) and finally, they will all take pity on my poor brain and cancel all the tests for the year.
Hurray.
Now if only that were true.
Hmmmmm...Or I could fall down the stairs on my way to school and if I happen to accidentally-on-purpose break my right arm I won't have to take any tests because I'm not left handed.
Or I could learn from my dear brother and curl up in bed, wrapping myself in thick layers of blankets and arm myself with the kitchen knife and yell:"YOU WON'T TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!" All the while I could be suffocating to death from the blankets but that will be fine with me.
I could always feign my own kidnapping.
That will require a printed ransom note though. My house printer's out of ink. There's always the school printer.
Or better yet. I could .... .... .... .... .... ....
BURN THE SCHOOL DOWN.
Yes.
That will be fabulous. Bravo. Fantastic.
Where did I put that can of gasoline???
And the lighter as well...But how do I prevent myself from getting burnt to a crisp in the process of arson?
Why am I typing this on my lj anyway? Won't people know what I'm up to or think I've gone stark, raving mad?!!!?!
.
.
.
Of course.
I already am nuts from everything. =__="
Stress, my fellow students.
Stress drives you mad.
And it apparently will drive this very student here to attempted arson. Watch the news everyone. It will happen soon.
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| Whooohoooo! |
[08 Jan 2009|02:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
I'm not going. At least I hope I don't change my mind again :D
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| The Conclusion...*drumroll please*grins widely showing teeth and gums* :D |
[08 Jan 2009|12:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
I feel that I shouldn't go.
It's either do something I like (TEP) in a boring place Home) and lose an advantage in the future(That stupid Resume.)
OR.
I do something I'm constantly worrying about and unsure of (FYP) in a fun place (Suzhou) but I feel like I'm only going because I couldn't go to Beijing and it's the next best thing. Only I keep turning a blind eye to the fact that I still have to end my holiday fantasy and go to the reality of doing my FYP when I return from Suzhou.
One of the main reasons I want to go is kind of shallow/stupid: I crave that campus life thing.
Though it won't be the same from what I truly want.
As for the experience...Yea...It's an added advantage...And I'm gonna have to do IT stuff in the future.
But at the risk of my project???Or am I thinking or being paranoid again?
I keep having the nagging feeling I shouldn't go.
But I will want to go again all of a sudden and be scared I'll regret my decision.
Either way I'll regret one thing and also be glad of it at the same time.
I keep getting brainwashed by OSL and others and myself into going and not going.
So...
Should I or should I not? The question stands again...
|
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| Oh no...............What to do...I'm stuck in a Dilemna |
[07 Jan 2009|11:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
!@#$%^&*(!@#$%^&*(!@#$%^&*(!@#$^&*(!@#$%^&*()
I can't decide if I want to go OPP or stay in Spore(the Land of the Mushrooms and Durians...kidding about the mushroom part-it's a lame joke-SPORE get it? Mushrooms have spores???Ok nevermind. =__=").
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh. I need to make a list again. At least I now know not to go Beijing because I'm gonna have to room with some stranger and I may not be able to go anyway.
Ok. So the problem I now have is this: Do I stay home or go fly across the ocean to China?
Reasons I Should Stay At Home:
1)TEP is easier for me
2)I may flunk or not do well for my stupid FYP.
3)I kind of like the idea of doing TEP. It's fun.
4)I may not be able to cope.
5)If I can't cope I may get stressed out and go mad(Not that this hasn't happened before.)
6)I'm risking my project/grades for something to show on my Resume/the experience.
7)I can go there in the future.(It will be different though, =__=" Refer to '#3' on the 'Reasons To Go List'.
8)I'm scared I'll regret for messing up big time.
7)I'm going to kill myself for thinking too highly of my ability to cope. That is, if I mess up. Will I mess up???
Reasons I Should Go Suzhou:
1)It will look better on my stupid Resume.
2)If I can't go Beijing, Suzhou's not half bad-though I've been there before.
3)Still, it's a different experience. I get to be the exchange student and live in a campus. That's kind of cool. I've always wanted to do that.
4)I may be more at ease with doing stupid IT stuff/projects when I go out to work in the future(??? Not that sure about this though.)
5)It's fun to go there. It's boring to stay at home.(However, refer to '#3' on the 'Reasons Not to Go' List)
6)I'm scared this is something I'll regret for missing out on this opportunity.
7)I'm going to strangle myself for being scared of something like FYP which I can just merrily take a chance with anyway. What if I mess up??? Will I???
I am known for my procrastinating ways.
I am known for my 'scatterbrained-ness'. (Aka 'Ah Gong-ness' or 'Blur-ness')
I am known for my dead lousy time management, or should I say the complete LACK of it.
I am known for being...easily stressed out???
And I am known for my INDECISIVENESS.
RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRgh.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupidly stupid thing of utter stupidity and moronity. hfgdsftlbvnyiesheowrubyterkgbvytawejyutohjkb ytou7ty87fgayiu y7yrriyzrguyzdgjv rgbtjccfdsvdhyaejaeriuthuitgeteriutiiureuit'y;iwreyiuairtrtEIUYTywietvyW:
Whew.
That felt good.
Please give me the grace to remain calm and not resort to something stupid and drastic such as flipping a coin or throwing my wallet on the floor to see which side it lands on. =______="""
Please let me be able to make the best choice.
What do I do...........What do I doWhat do I doWhat do I DO.
Grrrrrrrrrrr....WHAT I actually want is:
1)To go Beijing-
2)And do TEP there-
3)With my friends.
BUT. As you can see, I can't go Beijing and even is I can things are sort of ruined with the whole stranger thing.
If I go Suzhou...Ok, hmm...I still have to do stupidbigfat FYP. Furthermore some people will be in Beijing and I have no way of going there,not even if I climbed the Great Wall of China and get nominated to be in the Guinness Book of World Records 2009.
Furthermore...I keep changing my mind.
I want to NOT go for 30mins, then I want to GO again for 30mins, then the cycle repeats itself.
Sigh.
Just now I wanted to go.Now I just want to not make any decision and stay at home.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
I wish I don't have to decide anything. -____-!@#$%^&*(
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[29 Dec 2008|01:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
Holidays have come to an end and school has started its marvelous torture sessions again. (hey it rhymes, =_=")
As of now, I have one BIG stupid test on 14jan, another test on 7jan, another one coming up next week, and a few other BIG and small projects due soon or going to be due soon. T___T
Being a student is a sad life.
Waaaaaaaaaaaah. I don't know what to blog again. I've been having strange moodswings sometimes, -__-"
I want to write out my New Year Resolutions. Hahahahaha. Starting from now:
1)I cannot bite my fingers. (Not even when I feel hungry/bored/stressed)
2)I will actually complete my to-do-list on time. (And not dilly dally *Hehehe, I forgot this phrase existed!* like usual)
3)I will eat less. I am serious about this one.Really.
4)I will stop daydreaming too much and be less scatterbrained, or in simpler words:be less "gong"/"blur"...AGAIN. I am SERIOUS about this, and if you are laughing or rolling your eyes at this one, well, blah to you. >:P
5)I will sleep earlier. Ok ok,I will sleep before 12am. That will be the latest curfew for me.
6)I will stop arguing with my siblings over food and keep my temper in check.
7)I will finish what I start.
8)I will not,or at the very least, TRY not to procrastinate.
9)I will...not be late for school???Hah. Ha. Ha. Ha. Hmm, I will have to work on this one.
10) I will follow this New Year Resolutions and not trash it like I did to all my other past New Year Resolutions.*Ahem*
Ok done.
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